H. Norman Wright, a licensed marriage and family counselor, once described a situation that another man had brought to him in the course of his ministry:
A new woman came to work in our office. We struck up an acquaintance and began to talk each day over coffee. In time she began to share the problems in her own marriage and we found that we were both in a position of drifting away from our spouses. We actually found that we communicated better together than with our own spouses. We looked for reasons to be together—we shared similar interests and hobbies. I had no ulterior motives—no sinister plans but I enjoyed our time together as friends.
We saw each other every day for a few moments and once a week we went to lunch. In time I began to compare Elaine with my wife. I saw so many positives in Elaine. The more I compared the more defects I saw in my wife. Then one day it hit me. “I was in love with another woman. Me! No! I’m a married man with three children. I’m chairman of our church board. This happens to others—why me! Why did I let myself get into this mess?” I felt confused. My work suffered—my relationships suffered. I tried to stop my involvement. Some weeks I didn’t see Elaine that much. Other weeks I saw her every day. I had to!
Last week it happened. We made love. I am so torn up right now! What do I do?1
Accounts like this reveal how important vigilance is to a strong marriage. When marriages disintegrate, the fact is that it usually isn’t because of some bizarre event that hits the couple like a ton of lead. That’s possible. But in most cases, when the ceiling caves in on a marriage, it’s because the couple has failed to address the slow leak in the attic.
A Brief Theology of Marriage @ Truth For Life
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