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STEP THREE: For those few days, every time you catch yourself saying something negative, quickly stop and think, How could I have said/done that differently, so it wasn’t negative? 

. . . 

This points out the crucial neuroscientific truth that underlies our quest toward kindness: what we focus on is what we will see. If we focus on the annoying things said by our sister-in-law on social media, we will see more of that and get more annoyed. If we focus on the fact that our sister-in-law has spent the last three months offering to help watch the kids so we can finish our night classes, we will have far more gratitude and far less annoyance. I can’t help but think of my favorite scripture (Philippians 4:8). Whenever we focus on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy, THAT is exactly what we will see. And if we’re focusing on other things, well . . . we might be missing something big.


From: https://shaunti.com/2022/09/the-big-blind-spot-that-is-messing-with-your-relationships/ 

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